We all have an idealized picture of the perfect family in our mind. For a lot of us it’s the nuclear family. Not the one hiding in a bunker to avoid radiation poisoning, but the one that consists of dad, mom, and 2.5 children living in a detached suburban home that was popularized in the 1950s. Today, however, few families truly look like that. In this episode we take a look at why that might not be all bad.
A lot of our inspiration came from a detailed article by researcher and author David Brooks. If you have time you should read it. However, here are some of the points we gleaned as we applied it to our Christian families:
The nuclear family created independence; we are called to create interdependence. The Bible often examples and encourages an interconnected group of corporate families over an isolated family unit.
The nuclear family created insulation; we are called to be inclusive. We are not to just take care of our own needs but to look to the needs of others.
The nuclear family prioritized immediate economy; we want to prioritize investment. Our great challenge is to look to the future to provide hope, faith and health for our children and beyond.
Lots of good questions come out of this episode. Have those discussions this week evaluating who you need to include, where you need to plug in, and what hope looks like for the next generation. Until next time, Be Abnormal!
When I was in my twenties and seeking to own my faith, I found an incredibly helpful resource. Relevant Magazine was a Christian publication claiming to navigate the tension between faith and culture, but to do that they talked about things I hadn’t seen anyone else try to tackle. They acknowledged the difficulty of reconciling faith and science. They dialogued with people who were struggling in their faith. They brought together people on different sides of doctrinal issues to find common ground. It was so refreshing because it echoed my inner questions as a young person finding my path towards living out my faith in Christ. These are still the issues young adults are facing and Relevant Magazine is still addressing them.
In that pursuit, it is no surprise that Relevant has a whole section dedicated to “Justice”. As we shared in Episode 60 – With Just Cause, young people are looking for their place and purpose in life. Finding an injustice in the world and looking for a solution is a common practice for them as they too try to figure out how to be the people God calls us to be. Relevant does a great job of talking deeply and honestly about not only the injustices but the tensions present in our engagement with those causes. I’d encourage you to check out some of their articles. Here’s a few recent ones that deal directly with evaluating causes:
And after you’ve read them, share them with the young people in your life. Discuss them. Wrestle with them. Apply them. Let them stretch your faith. And as we do that, I think it will help us…Be Abnormal!
In today’s culture, everyone is getting behind a cause. In this episode, Mark and Randell give some ideas on how to help the young people in your life evaluate causes they are interested in:
Is it biblical. To be a worthwhile cause, it must line up with the truths of Scripture.
Is it sustainable. Is this a cause that can make a longterm impact for them and the people they are trying to help.
Does it fit with other callings in your community? Not that this has to be the case, but one way God leads us is by the people and community He puts around us. We need to see if there is another option already available that’s making a similar impact.
Does it flow from the source cause? Ultimately everyone is created to worship God and make Him known to others. This cause should be the foundation and fuel for all other causes we would consider getting involved with.
To help the youth at our particular church, we are currently using Dare 2 Share’s Full Circle curriculum to help understand and engage in that source cause of sharing our hope in Christ. If you are a parent at our church, we’d challenge you to ask your teenager about what they are learning. If you aren’t we’d encourage you to check out Dare 2 Share and the resources they have for young people. Until next time, Be Abnormal!
As we have developed this podcast and supplemental content, we have found several really helpful resources. These are individuals and organizations that are on the frontlines of reaching young people for Christ in this modern culture. Over the next weeks and months, we hope to highlight some of them so you can connect to these resources as well.
For parents and concerned adults, they have a lot of great content to help equip you to engage with the young people in your life. We have previously highlighted their book Growing With. We have also tapped in to their research for numerous episodes. We would encourage you to take a look at their website and check out some of their posts for parents.
With the start of the New Year, we’ve made a few changes around here!
We are going to an every other week format for our actual podcasts. However, we will be increasing our supplemental posting content to provide different ways to interact with important resources for raising teens and young adults who follow Christ. With that in mind, we’ve started our own Facebook Page, Instagram Account, and YouTube Channel. We also will be making those posts available at our website – isthatnormal.org. We hope you will connect with us and join the conversation!
In today’s episode, we talk about eight trends all parents should be aware of:
Normal is Being Redefined. We like this one!
Mental health issues, isolation, and loneliness are on the rise.
We live in a blaming culture.
Gender issues will continue to rise. And we have to be a part of the discussion or our children will let someone else help them form their ideas about this topic.
Teens and Young Adults have only ever known a Post-Christian society.
They are On-Demand Content Consumers. Our job is to help them monitor and curate what they are consuming!
“I’m my own brand!” We must help our young people find their identity in the right way.
They don’t feel safe talking…in traditional platforms. We have to be super-sleuths at asking good questions and being available to talk.
Join us in two weeks for our next podcast episode. In the meantime watch for supplemental content, check out our social media channels, and Be Abnormal!
In this both fun and reflective episode, we explore family trees and our places in them. For everyone sending us an email at connect@isthatnormal.org by midnight on January 30, 2020, we will enter you in a drawing for a DNA + Family Tree Bundle from ancestry.com
In addition to talking about some fun and challenging things about their personal family trees, Randell and Mark encourage parents and significant adults to cultivate thought about how our family fosters faith from generation to generation. Here’s a few ideas on how to do that:
Share your story. Talking through the good, bad and ugly of your life story and your journey of faith can help young people place their own path in perspective.
Read through the genealogies of the Bible. Often thought of as boring, these lists of family connections actually have a lot to say about how God uses messy families to do His work. Start with the genealogy in Matthew 1 and talk about the shortcomings and redemptions found there.
Get out the photo album. Take time to sit with your kids and show them some of your family history. Pass on the stories and the connections.
Talk about your children’s legacy. Challenge them to think about what they want their story to be and then help them work backwards to their current decisions.
Pray together! Your young people need you to pray with them more now than ever.
Don’t forget to send us an email with some fun family facts to enter our drawings. Until 2021, Be Abnormal!
Christmas is a time for celebrations, gifts, and family. It is also a time for us to remember that God in the flesh came and dwelt among us. The word for that is Incarnation – an intentional choice to be with His people.
As we reflect on that powerful truth, we should let it motivate us to be present in the lives of our children and family. However, we also know that can sometimes be a real challenge with teenagers and young adults. We talked a lot about this concept in Episode 10: Are You Withing? Take some time to check that out.
Here also are some ideas on how you can make space to be present this Christmas:
Make Traditions and Memories. Young people love to see how they are a part of an ongoing story of family and history. Traditions and family memories help to foster this concept.
Schedule some special meals. This could be simply a breakfast or dinner that you plan to be together.
Have a Game Night. Nothing bonds families like a little friendly competition. Check out Episode 25: Family Game Night for some ideas.
Let your children plan an event or outing. Give them some experience in responsibility and decision making as well as learn what they truly enjoy.
Take advantage of captive moments. Those times that you are alone with no agenda – maybe it is in car rides or early mornings or late nights – ask some good questions. Check out Episode 11: The Art of Asking Good Questions for some ideas on great question asking.
In order to be successful at these ideas, you will need to address some of the common barriers:
Technology. Make sure to set some expectations and boundaries. You might schedule some “no device” events or set guidelines on when a person needs to be off of their phone.
Outside interests. Realize that there will still be other people and events pulling at your family’s time this season. Be sensitive to that as well as proactive in establishing what your expectations are for their availability.
Personal needs. We all need some down time but we also need intentional engagement in relationships. Help your family set some healthy balances in this area ahead of time.
Enjoy your holiday and invest in your family. Be Abnormal!
As we quickly approach Christmas, we wanted to help out our listeners with ideas of gifts to give the teens and young adults in their lives. They always love cash, but here are a few other ideas:
