While it’s not often what we had envisioned, it is a reality that more and more adult children are living at home longer or returning home for a period of time. In this episode we talk about some of the cultural factors that are causing this trend.
We also talk about some of the important questions that parents need to ask in those situations (These questions are modified from content from Fuller Youth Institute’s book Growing With):
Do they have a plan?
Is there an end date?
What will be their financial contribution?
What will be their household responsibilities?
Do they need to communicate when they’ll be out for dinner or coming home after a certain hour?
What are their boundaries?
At the end of the discussion, we need to realize that intentional communication and remembering the long term goal are extremely important. As always, we invite you to connect with us via Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, our website, or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
In the world of ultimate optionality, we hope to be a consistent guide for parents of particularly teens and young adults. We started this podcast in order to have a platform to share important ideas and resources to help lead our children towards a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ while keeping our own sanity!
If you are new to our podcast, here are some ideas on great prior episodes to check out:
In this episode, we review Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin’s book Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones. We highly recommend this resource for parents who are wanting to be intentional about raising their family to follow Christ. We found the book to be a very practical guide on how to use the normal routines of life for passing on our faith in Jesus.
We cover how this book is:
The book is broken into simple chapters that suggest we organize a discipleship plan around:
MODELING. We have to start with our own relationship and response to Christ.
TIME: Using the natural rhythms of life to read God’s Word, pray, and serve with our families
MOMENTS: Watching and being ready for those teachable moments where we can share truth about God.
MILESTONES: Using those milestones and markers of life such as birthdays, holidays, and graduations to offer faith challenges.
While “blowing it” could mean everything from ignorance to out-and-out rebellion, there are some common things to remember when responding to your children’s failure:
Remember the Goal. We aren’t just trying to fix a problem; we are guiding a life.
Recognize their increasing need for independence. Allowing their own decisions and natural consequences is super valuable.
Value the relationship. We are fighting for them; not with them. Make a safe place for them to repent and restore.
So here’s some of the practical ideas we shared on how to do those things:
Start with God and His Truth. Realize God has more control, desire, and influence for your child than you do.
Don’t try to save face. Don’t apologize, sanitize, or hide their failures for them.
Let consequences do their job.
Keep communication open.
Several of our ideas we shared came from Dr. Tim Kimmel’s book “Why Christian Kids Rebel”. It’s a great resource if you want to dig deeper into these issues. Make sure to check out our next episode as we look at the other side of this “blowing it” problem. Until then, Be Abnormal!
We live in what they call the “Recommendation Age”. The volume of information and options we have at our fingertips is mind-boggling. So we need others to help us curate what we read, wear, watch, eat, and care about!
Over the years of being a leader, pastor, and now podcaster, I’ve found myself more and more often being one of those curators. I often hear myself saying, “I recommend [insert relevant book or resource here].” Recently, I’ve caught myself particularly recommending a few books over and over again. I find these books personally, spiritually, and parentally helpful.
So if you are looking for a good read or resource, I particularly recommend:
Growing With by Kara Powell and Steven Argue. This research based resource book has been so helpful in navigating the transition from adolescence to young adulthood as I parent my children and encourage others. We discuss this book in detail in ITN Episode 3
In this episode our friend and school administrator Jared Wallace brings a wealth of insight and experience to the discussion of extracurricular activities. Jared has been a coach, teacher, ag sponsor, principal and has just been hired as a superintendent. He is also a husband, father, and follower of Jesus.
Here are some of the big take aways from our discussion:
Extracurricular activities are a great tool to build character and life skills. Whether on a team or in a competition, there are so many situations that teach you about perseverance, hard-work, people skills, and dealing with failure. These are invaluable.
We must keep the goal in perspective. We want our children to be successful, but we must also support them in the losses as well. There is something greater going on here than a record sheet.
Make the most of your time together. Jared points out that parent support changes over time but must be made a priority. Invest in your child early and support them as they grow into organized activities.
As for some practical advice, here are a few thoughts from the episode:
Focus in. It’s okay to encourage variety, but consider limiting to one activity at a time.
Make best choices for your family. Evaluate what your child is ready for and what creates the best rhythm for your family
Prioritize family and faith.
Have fun! Enjoy this time with your children as you help them discover interests and abilities.