While our children will always disagree with us and push the boundaries, we have an underlying fear that they will one day reject all we hold dear and true about life. This episode discusses some of the tensions we must navigate as we deal with those kind of disagreements.
Here’s a few of the good questions we talked about asking when those moments occur:
- “Why does this bother me?” Remember we are trying to grow them in God’s image; not our own.
- “Why are they bringing up this issue?” Is it progress or a pitfall?
- “Why do you believe that?” Talk them through their thinking, particularly asking them what they disagree and agree with you about this issue.
We also talk about how to help them establish the standard by which they make life decisions. Here’s some things to think about as you do that:
- Remember the goal. Fighting with someone means I am trying to win. Fighting for someone means I am trying to help them win.
- Help them set boundaries.
- Teach them where and how to find answers. Be a resource, but also point them to other resources including other adults.
It’s okay to disagree with your children. It’s okay to be honest about what you believe and why. They need to see God’s truth and standard as they navigate life decisions, but also show them that you are willing to stay relationally connected as they go through this journey.
And last thought, seek God’s wisdom, strength and comfort. This is hard. Don’t do it alone or on your own strength. Another great resource for guidance and comfort in these types of issues is Robert Morgan’s book Moments for Families with Prodigals.
Until next time, Be Abnormal!