We all have those moments from our childhood that stand out to us. We as parents want to intentionally create those moments in a way to help our children grow up to love God and other people. Here are some ideas from the episode on how to foster those moments:
Make Space. It can be large vacations or adventures, but it could be a simple unstructured couple of hours spent playing games, talking or going for ice cream.
Be a good Asker and Listener. It is important to make space to hear our children’s heart. Check out Episode 5 on monitoring our children’s heart and Episode 11 for more ideas on being a good question asker.
Here are some of the ideas we shared on how to help our children have close relationships with their siblings:
Challenge Attitudes. It is not common or encouraged to be close to your family or your siblings, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t best.
Create Shared Experiences. It is those with whom we share common history that often are those that most connect with us throughout life.
Have Mandatory Planned Family Times. Family Devotions. (Check out Episode 4 for some ideas). Shared Chores. Game Nights.
Model Friendship in your marriage and family relationships.
Some barriers to overcome are:
High Expectation of Family Members/Low Expectation of Self
We know this process is not easy and will never be perfect – even best friends tend to fight! But we encourage you to do the hard and consistent hard work of fostering close relationships in your household.
Talking about sex with our kids is extremely important. Someone is going to help our children form their views on sex and sexuality, and as parents, we must be intentional if we want that someone to be us! God created sex, but Satan, sinful nature and society have warped the modern view of this sensitive issue. We must help our children to gain God’s view of sex.
In this episode we discuss the reasons we must talk to our kids about this topic. We address the earlier age of puberty and exposure to sexual content in our society, which forces us as parents to begin thinking about how to share our perspective earlier.
Some of the ideas we share on how to approach these discussions are:
Change our approach from confrontation to process. We don’t want to just have one factual conversation, but rather an ongoing series of discussions and reflections on the topics of sex, emotions, and relationships (and consequences) over time.
Be observant. Notice your children’s curiosities. Be aware of moments you can use to share truth. Ask questions and listen to gain perspective on where they need clarity.
Do some research. Make sure you are sharing a clear view of God’s design for sex and relationships. 1 Corinthians is a great place to start for finding the boundaries and lines. Hosea is another good resource to see how serious God takes sexual misconduct but also how gracious and redemptive He can be when we fail.
Parents continue to have the biggest influence on how their children view relationships. Let’s take the opportunity to help shape their perspective on this very important topic.
This well-researched commentary opens a perspective-changing window into the challenges for the millennial generation. Written frankly by a millennial, it tells of some of the cultural and systemic factors that have led to the current generational situation. Petersen did a great job of peeling back the layers of older generation’s gripes and seeing some of the shared problems facing our society.
For those of us called to love and influence the next generations, this book offers insight into understanding the why’s behind the economic, relational, spiritual, emotional, and moral concerns – many of which might surprise you. May we continue to pursue understanding others that we might better offer love and truth to them!
While it’s not often what we had envisioned, it is a reality that more and more adult children are living at home longer or returning home for a period of time. In this episode we talk about some of the cultural factors that are causing this trend.
We also talk about some of the important questions that parents need to ask in those situations (These questions are modified from content from Fuller Youth Institute’s book Growing With):
Do they have a plan?
Is there an end date?
What will be their financial contribution?
What will be their household responsibilities?
Do they need to communicate when they’ll be out for dinner or coming home after a certain hour?
What are their boundaries?
At the end of the discussion, we need to realize that intentional communication and remembering the long term goal are extremely important. As always, we invite you to connect with us via Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, our website, or email us at email@example.com
In the world of ultimate optionality, we hope to be a consistent guide for parents of particularly teens and young adults. We started this podcast in order to have a platform to share important ideas and resources to help lead our children towards a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ while keeping our own sanity!
If you are new to our podcast, here are some ideas on great prior episodes to check out:
In this episode, we review Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin’s book Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones. We highly recommend this resource for parents who are wanting to be intentional about raising their family to follow Christ. We found the book to be a very practical guide on how to use the normal routines of life for passing on our faith in Jesus.
We cover how this book is:
The book is broken into simple chapters that suggest we organize a discipleship plan around:
MODELING. We have to start with our own relationship and response to Christ.
TIME: Using the natural rhythms of life to read God’s Word, pray, and serve with our families
MOMENTS: Watching and being ready for those teachable moments where we can share truth about God.
MILESTONES: Using those milestones and markers of life such as birthdays, holidays, and graduations to offer faith challenges.
While “blowing it” could mean everything from ignorance to out-and-out rebellion, there are some common things to remember when responding to your children’s failure:
Remember the Goal. We aren’t just trying to fix a problem; we are guiding a life.
Recognize their increasing need for independence. Allowing their own decisions and natural consequences is super valuable.
Value the relationship. We are fighting for them; not with them. Make a safe place for them to repent and restore.
So here’s some of the practical ideas we shared on how to do those things:
Start with God and His Truth. Realize God has more control, desire, and influence for your child than you do.
Don’t try to save face. Don’t apologize, sanitize, or hide their failures for them.
Let consequences do their job.
Keep communication open.
Several of our ideas we shared came from Dr. Tim Kimmel’s book “Why Christian Kids Rebel”. It’s a great resource if you want to dig deeper into these issues. Make sure to check out our next episode as we look at the other side of this “blowing it” problem. Until then, Be Abnormal!